Sunday, October 4, 2009

Chronicles in Fail #1 - Bulletball

I was a but confused myself about it this one for my first Chronicle in Fail, first we have the FAIL a reality show, American Inventor, a Inventor and a rejection of a invention that FAILS on every level. When we get the faggotry, the inventor in his self delusion does not give up and decides to sell in invention on a website at a ridiculous markup.

Once upon a time there was a show called The American Inventor, a show where contestants pitched their ideas, some good, some crazy and one invention that was the epitome of FAIL. Enter Marc Griffin and his baby BULLETBALL, the "High Caliber table game for the 21st Century Lifestyle."

Well the youtube video of Marc's pitch says it all

Good Lord on a pogostick, this is going to be a Olympic sport?? Passing a ball back and forth on a cheap Formica table? High Caliber? Then he dishes out a sob story on how he spent 26 years on this game he and his ex-wife (Oh my, I wonder why that happened.) he sold everything to develop this game that was created when him and his ex-wife were drunk on wine playing with a cat's toy.

But after getting a smackdown from the judges, this self delusion is on display as he is CONVINCED that this game will make it because it is just THAT GOOD.

Does he give up no because he now sells this game on his website. Here is where this subject brushes with faggotry.

If you surf to the website you see it all. make sure you listen to the Bulletball "RAP" Okay....He wants $299 for this shit.

The standard model BulletBall table is made of a white ¾ inch Melamine top. The siderails attach to the side of the table and come standard with a choice of either one of the BulletBall logos (red, white, and blue or yellow, red and black). The American Flag is optional for an additional $20. The legs are available in the white, black, blue, green, and light maple wood grain finish.

Customizable logos on the siderails (see example above) are available for an additional cost.

The white top standard model table comes with hardware, 8 BulletBall balls, written instructions, DVD instructional video, and a certificate of authenticity. This table is available for a "limited time" reduced price of $299.99!!! plus shipping and handling.
At least you get more than just a table, a video and a Certificate of Authenticity that this is a REAL Olympic Regulation Bulletball table. Accept no Imitations.

If that is so slow four you and you want to play in the big league Bulletball circuits settle for no less than the Professional Bulletball Extreme Table.

The professional model BulletBall Extreme table is our top of the line table. It has a multi-purpose use and can be customized to match your home decor. It has a durable Formica laminated surface which comes in several colors to choose from: White, Black, Red, Green, Blue, and a Light Maple Wood Grain Finish with the same choice of colors for the legs. The legs are trimmed in matching T-mold as tabletop.

This table comes with two removable siderails, with our standard two-choice of BulletBall Extreme logos (red, white, and blue or yellow, red and black).

Customizable logos are available for an additional cost.

The Extreme table comes with a 16-ball holding tray, 16 multi-color BulletBall (balls), BulletBall ball catcher, hardware, written instructions, DVD visual instructions, and a certificate of authenticity, for a total price of $525 plus shipping and handling.
It is top of the line, were are talking about some serious fo' shizzle here. The only EXTREME I see here is the PRICE. $525 for this and you can get customized logos for additional cost. get some flames on that thing and be the pimpest Bulletballer on the BLOCK.

If that is too pricey for you can go for the bargain model

The BulletBall Tabletop model is a simple, fold-up, lightweight, white game board version table with clip on siderails, which sits on top of your existing table. The siderails come in our standard two logo colors (red, white and blue or yellow, red, and black). This table comes with folding table, siderails, clips, 6 BulletBall balls, assembly instructions, and rules. The cost of this table top version is $59.99 and includes shipping and handling to anywhere in the United States.
Can't you just play Bulletball on a normal table? Because this game is so high caliber that it will just burn through any normal table. Thats why the game is just THAT GOOD.

Also the table can also become a multi-purpose table for homework, casual dining and other activities you will find to make use of this overpriced table after you find no one to play this High Caliber game with.

But the game is finding a audience, as Bulletball has been adopted at several Chicago area Rehabilitation centers and even the US Army's Walter Reed Medical Center. Showing that his game is now the High Caliber table sport of the Lowest Bidder.
525 for a table after paying for a 1000 toilet seat this is a STEAL.

So Marc Griffin you are a Chronicle in FAIL!

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