Sunday, October 2, 2011

DC, readers and other people's money.

After a 7 year old girl, wrote DC Comics a letter about their increased amount of T&A, DC's response was screw off you should not be reading our books.

Well DC they should, you see COMICS are a dying medium, with old readers being turned away, and no younger readers joining in because the content of these books is not for them.  Why do they not care, because DC and MARVEL are funded by someone else's money, money that they did not earn. Comics like the other entertainment companies, are all owned by something else. DC is pat of the Time-Warner conglomerate, MARVEL is a part of Disney now. Not only that their main revenue is no longer comic book sales but rather licensing their properties for movies, TV and merch.

The same kind of attitude is what led to the collapse of the WCW, since it was Ted Turner's baby, Eric Bischoff started blowing money on things that in the end only entertained him and not wrestling fans. Examples included ratings killers like concerts such with Megadeth and KISS, who would also have a wrestler that debuted to the delight of no one. He blew several million on Master P to show up and not wrestle and did the same for Dennis Rodman. In the end the company collapsed because they gave up on the fans and the fans then gave up on them.

Comics are dying as a medium not because kids would rather play on their XBOXes but because the content is made more to entertain those who make the books than for those who read them,

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Dem Lovato Unbroken After Action Review

I just got done listening to Demz first post-treatment album Unbroken  liked but was prevented from loving it.  accordance with US ARMY practices  will give it an after action review.

+ Positives

It is a major accomplishment Demi scored a major victory rising above her disorders and issues to record this album.

The personal songs are the best part of the album. Demi has some strong pipes and these songs use that talent to the fullest.

Selling well so she is doing something right.

- Negatives

No unifying sound - Unbroken is Demz departure form the Camp Rock/Disney Channel Years so s she tryng to be r&b a ballad singer what? t s expected as she contnues to grow her talent. The song "Who;s that boy" with the suggestive "line bed in the shade" just comes off like it was written for someone else but they added the song to add a fun track to balance out all of Her more personal heartfelt ballads. She dd write and record far more songs some had to be left out because way too many personal songs would have burnt the listener out.

Over Produced - Much of prob one has to do with a major issue with many rap-r&b and pop acts. Way too many different producers working on each track. It ends up with a CD that only has 3 good songs. This is why online sales of singles are up while entire albums are down. if people are only gong to put out 3 good songs well we will only buy those songs.

Too many collabs - All night long and Together get forgotten right after you listen to them. All night long barely have DEMI as her strong vocals are not even being used.

What should be done for next album.

Get one Producer - One who will use her talent to the full potential, MJ made Thrller a ht because Quincy Jones  knew how to use Michael's talents. She needs to fuid her Quncy Jones So far the best songs Demz has were done by Toby Gad.

Write all of your songs -for too long she has sung what Disney gave her she was breaking out of that shell with Unbroken next album she will have to totally break loose.

Keep the collabs to a minimum - only get a few good artists future tracks should at least be one fun song with BFF Selena Gomez, a harder track with Eminem  and a ballad with Kelly Clarkson.

Find her sound - MJ was soul/r&b pop crossover Elvis was a mix of country gospel and r&b. To find her sound the best bet s to follow Selena Gomez and get a band hire some talented musicians that she can work with to help discover it

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Movies you need to see before you die, some you should never.

What you need to see.

Deliverance - Why? Because it is in the Library of Congress as a culturally relevant film. This John Boorman Directed Burt Reynolds film about hikers who explore nature and get into serious trouble is famous for the Ned Beatty "Squeal like a Pig Scene"

Listen to this.... WARNING PENIS!

This was Boorman's follow up to his award winning Deliverance. Good film to show to friends to see the looks on their face. A valid reason why you should never do drugs. Because you might greenlight a film like this.

The Deer Hunter - remember the Russian roulette scene from COD: Black Ops? It was taken from this film.

Heavens Gate -WHY? This is what the success of the Deer Hunter made possible.

So you can see for yourself why this film tanked United Artists.

HEAD the Monkees movie - WHY? It was created by the Monkees manager and Jack Nicholson (Yes that Jack Nicholson) while smoking a large amounts of WEED. It shows.

The movies you should never see, because viewing them will cause psychological harm.

E.T. The Porno - WHY? LOOK AT THIS PHOTO....

NO REALLY LOOK AT IT! Now imagine people having SEX with that? Actually don't. This film is not meant for human consumption. Who even thought this was a good idea?

Those Animated Titanic Movies. In Titanic the Legend Goes On... there are mexican mice and a rapping dog. If you think that is bad there are more of the like four to be exact. Might be more but I do not want to find out.

It's Party Time!

Star Odyssey - A italian made space film that was nothing more than to quick cash in on the popularity of Star Wars like ever other cash in before it. One notable thing, the film predated the Soprano's cut off ending by 20 years. As the film ends mid-sentence as the movie just gets bored with itself.

The one other movie besides Twilight: Eclipse that I want to bring physical harm to.

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny - A really cheap kiddie matinee holiday film that is child abuse just to show to kids. A Sweaty Santa crashes in the now nonexistent Pirates World park in Florida and tells some horrid Thumbelina story while he waits for a deformed bunny in a red fire truck to bail him out. If you lose your mind and want to watch this turd, at least get the rifftrax video on demand.

Theodore Rex - The Whoopi Golderg sci-fi Dinosaur buddy cop film that I first saw on TNT at 3am after I got back to my DORM room from a night out. For a long time I actually thought my brain was making this shiz up.

The Baby Geniuses Films: Go ahead if you want to melt your brain.

I'll post up more when I think of some more.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Shows that CORP America needs to watch

There is two programs on TV that every CEO of a US company especially the Big 3 AUTO and DC and MARVEL

These shows are Restaurant Impossible and Hell's Kitchen.

If you look at the BIG 3 Autos they are suffering from some of the same problems as these failing restaurants.
Stale Product, Bad Service, Dirty kitchens as the result of complacency. Negative Public Perception that is the result of this.

Stale Product - many of these places are serving guests, frozen and canned foods in a restaurant with decor still stuck in the 70's This only caters to diners who are aging and with numbers getting smaller with no new blood coming in.

BIG 3 are only selling cars that appeal to a older and shrinking customer base while they let the younger Gen Y buyers move over to the Japanese products. Which have trendier modern designs, are more in their price range have been aggressively marketed to them. Their car designs are all stuck in some retro 70's look with business practices that are still stuck in the 80's with ads even targeted to the boomer generation.

I saw this problem when I went to the North American Auto Show a few years ago, all the Japanese companies were all marketing and promoting their vehicles to the younger buyers. The BG 3 US companies all that displays aimed at anyone older than 45.

Same with Comics their fanbase has a average age of 35. No new readers (kids) ca get involved because the continunity is too convoluted and the content is too mature for them, the product costs too much for them.

SOLUTION - RESTART fraking everything. With comics MARVEL and DC need to really do a restart from #1. DC is doing this but they are only going halfway with it and keeping some of the old backstories. BATMAN has to start at the beginning of his career. Clark Kent has to start with him getting hires at the Daily Planet News Service. Not a Newspaper, as they are dying out and the internet is taking over. but more of a massive global news and media service part of a larger corporate conglomerate run by a Rupert Murdochish Lex Luthor. Clark has he is still some underling news writer is forced to write biased stories about Superman. Hal Jordan should be just getting out of the USAF and starting his job as a test pilot at Ferris so on and so forth. Wonder Woman has just left Paradise Island to enter man's world. Her first job, is off to Afganistan to help women fighting aganist taliban oppression where she meets Capt. Steve Trevor of the US ARMY Special Operations.

BIG 3 - UPDATE your entire vehicle line, maybe keep the Mustang for the older drivers. The FOCUS and Sedans need a MAJOR UPDATE in designs.Keep the Trucks, Vans as those are also solid sales for commercial buyers as F150s are WORK vehicles. Scrap the SUVs, they are large pricey gas guzzling soccercow mobiles. That Gen Y is not interested  because they will not need one for awhile. Because of this economic recession they not having kids that much.

INNOVATE - Chevy VOLT is a good idea, but it is a pricey SPORTS CAR for a hippie having a midlife crisis. Make a smaller cheaper version for the younger crowd it will SELL.

GET NEW BLOOD - The BIG 3 need to aggressively market to the younger generation. They will also have to change the public perception that US cars are overpriced junk made by illiterate High School Dropout UAW workers. The Eminem Chrysler commercial was a HIT, you need to do the same with some younger celebs. Try to get some tween stars to do commercials, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato Miley Cyrus etc... Why? Because their fans do not have licenses yet.

Big Three Autos lose Generation Y.

People want to blame all this on high priced UAW labor...there is one cause of this. Lack of marketing and lack of any innovative designs. If you look at all the US car ads vs the Japanese ones, the US ads and cars are all designed for Grandpa in mind. While the Japanese ones are aggressively targeting the youth market.

Here are things the Big 3 needs to do:

Stop whining to the Govt for more bailouts and to change trade laws. Guess what, the US is no longer the sole industrial power anymore. Things worked great for so long because the Big 3 had a monopoly and did not need to really compete for the US carbuyer.

Fundamentally reinvent and rethink your marketing - Most of the US car designs look DATED and still look like something from 20 years ago. These Jap cars are all modern hip and are made for the wired twitter generation with hookups for their MP3 players. So far look at all the sports models, they all have that retro muscle car look. Looks someone who got their drivers license in 1968 not 2008. The main buyer for US cars are baby boomers who are all getting older and going to start dying off. There is no NEW blood coming to take their place.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Comics and Pro Sports, an on and off again relationship that does not work

 Reports are that we have Marvel teaming up with the Dallas Cowboys to do something.

We have Stan Lee's NHL superhero project.

Do they sound like really bad ideas? Have you heard of this before?

A team-up of Comics and the Sports World, well it has been done before all with the same results. Every time comic and the pro sports world joined forces it always becomes some epic corporate shill fiasco.

Lets all go back to the 1990's and revisit Marvel's last attempt at this called NFL SuperPro.

That picture says it all, With a costume like that crime would be defeated by laughing itself to death.

Truth is the writer Fabian Nicenza only worked on it to get free NFL tickets and it shows. The stories and characters were pretty much  BRAINCURDLING STUPID. Here's an example one issue had villains stealing some rare and valuable NFL merch and then burning it? Yeah. Burn some rare memorabilia and not sell it. Or they could have had a counterfeit sports card ring that SuperPro could smash....

Well here is SuperPro's team the Happy Helpers:
  • Almighty Dollar, aka Pennington Pennypacker, a CPA who could shoot pennies from his hands (Pennies, Really. When Quarters are worth more and can do damage)
  • Calculator, aka Kwong Dae, a Korean actuary and super-thinker with the power to immediately assess probabilities. (Not at all a racist stereotype not only that his assessing probabilities SuperPro seems to have joined forces with NFL SuperBookie.)
  • Girth, aka 'Tubby' Walsh, an obese African-American with a belly immune to physical punishment.
  • Streak, aka Frank Moody, a mortician, jogger and super-fast runner (With a name like Streak, We are just glad he shows up wearing clothes. Justice League feels the same way about The Flash.)
Not only were these guys super powered mutants, but if they went Professor X's school. They probably went to the section reserved for the "special" students. The School for mutants of the retarded kind.

These were the villains, these Heroes went up aganist. These guys were not any better.

  • Quick Kick, a football placekicker turned ninja. (That's an interesting career switch)
  • Bennings, a footballer turned into an insane giant by steroid abuse (A walking talking anti-rods PSA)
  • Instant Replay, the assassin who can slice through time.
  • Marco Sanzionare, a crime boss whose dealings are constantly thwarted by Superpro (Not a good one when your schemes are thwarted by SuperPro and his Helpers.)

Well the series was an EPIC FAIL, and is called one of the stupidest comics ever created. NFL SuperPro only lasted 12 issues.

There are reasons why these projects always fail.
  • 1. Stories are always nothing more than Corporate Shilling and a quick and desperate cash grab. These comics are created at a marketing meeting not the result of some real creative genus. The writing is weak just like its bastard cousin the Comic PSA. The ones where Spiderman fights illiteracy and Capt America tells some kid we was molested. At least those comics can use "for a good cause defense". Idea is about as stupid as Pepsi-Cola teaming up with DC and made characters based on their Soft-Drinks. The book would be one long Ad like The Radio Shack TRS-80 Whiz kids.
  • 2. Comic Readers on an average age are now 35. Here is one truth, COMIC Die-Hards do not give two craps about sports. Vice Versa Sports Fans usually do not care about comics. In the end you have a product that just does not sell to anyone. These plans are created by come marketing team that thinks "Comic Shops sell sports stuff too lets do a NFL comic!"
SO 12 issues that is the target for marvel's Dallas Cowboys scheme and Stan Lee's NHL brainfart. Let's see if they can break that record

Further Reading:

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Superhero summer goes bust

This article is right on all parts.

Here is one point I want to comment on....


Why? Cost vs Value, you see if you wanted to see some 3D superhero movie you would pay $10-15 for the ticket and and another #15 for concessions. That is $30+ per person to go see a movie that they then have to burn gas just to get to a place that shows them. The days of the local movie palace that was walking distance from your house are LONG GONE. 

If you are 16-25 it makes more sense to spend $60 on the next Call of Duty and get months of entertainment online for months at end than spend half that for 90-120 minutes of entertainment. If they really wanted to see it than they will just wait for netflix or "acquire" it on bittorrent.

Comics in Peril, a potential savior.

One of the reason for comic book becoming impenetrable to younger audience is content. As the die hard comic readers grew up their tastes changed and the books changed with them. us an effect of their primary customer getting and no new fans entering the fold. This also leads to the bigger problem in impenetrability for new younger fans.

Not only do you have comics that are tied into a continuity that goes back decades but they are filled with content that is just not appropriate from someone 6-13.Now we have stories with openly gay super heroes, graphic violence and other books being used by artists and writers to espouse their own political and social views. Not only does this make the newer books inappropriate to children but it also turns off any new adult readers who now open up a book to see Spiderman drooling over Obama or Capt American becoming a 911 truther.

If you look at the comic racks at the book or comic store you do not see any comics even being made for kids. There is one potential savior, Disney recently acquired MARVEL. Disney could with their successful shows and ownership of MARVEL could easily mend this by making comics based on their hit children shows such as Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place etc. or just make more age appropriate books with easily accessible stories based on the marvel line. So far all they have done is an Avengers toon on Disney XD and use their channels to promote marvel movies such as THOR and some new website where you can make your own comic. Now this does have the potential to bring kids into the MARVEL fold at least when it comes to other related properties. You never saw a Hannah Montana or Wizards of Waverly Place comic because even their execs are being told comics do not sell. In the end their acquisition of MARVEL was just another property they can merchandise out.

DC's Big Reboot

All comic fans know that the end of the summer DC comics will be restarting all their main titles back to #1. At the San Deigo Comic Con all the fan boys are having a protest over this, saying that they are being disprespected or something.

Here is the thing in the big picture, the fan boys do not matter. You see the average comic reader is about 35, not getting younger and the number is shrinking. Comics as a medium is DYING, they need to get fresh blood. Here is a problem COMICS ARE JUST TOO HARD TO GET INTO.

If you cannot follow let me explain, it is not just that kids would rather play their PS3's and XBOXES.
1. Comic are too pricey for kids to casually pick up. The days of picking up a 10 cent book at a spinner rack in a local drug store are long gone. Now you have to go to a specialty store that is not in bike or walking distance from the kids house.

2. Comics just cost too much, at the age of 8-13 $3 bucks a book just costs too much. For the price of a graphic novel collection some kid would rather buy a used video game at gamestop for that much.

3. The books are just too hard to get into. If you look at any superhero comic, just open it up and read it.
if you haven not followed along with the said hero for years you will be lost because that book is tied into a continuity that goes back decades and deals with events that happened before I was born let alone one 12 year old boy. I know this is a problem when I can open up any long running DC title and there will be a word or text clowd with a * that leads to another * that says *Seen in Action Comics #478. Now I have to hunt down some book from another decade just to catch up on what is going on.

#3 is why the reboot is important, but I am afraid like the Crisis on Infinite Earths that DC did in the 1980's to clean up another convoluted alternate universe mess they did in order to please the older readers of the golden age while getting new readers with the new shiny Silver Age. It promised permanent changes that writers are already slowly undoing in the next months issues. I am afraid that DC will half-ass it, as there are already rumors that the Batman restart will still acknowledge much of the past continuity with the previous Robins and Batman Inc.

#1 should be the new #1. Superman should start out as the Worlds First Superhero. Bruce Wayne should be coming back the Gotham and creating his caped persona that will be known as Batman. This should be a new begining as the Silver Age was to the Golden Age one.

One thing DC is doing right is offering digital versions of their books, there are KIDS that will not read a comic but put that online and they will eat it up. Maybe make Kindle readers that can eventually do COLOR and now you can read comics that way.

Newspapers are suffering the same problem, NO ONE reads them when you can get your news online from yahoo or elsewhere.

If comics die as a medium, the characters of Marvel and DC will be just seen as licensed trademarks by their parent company's. Something to put in T-shirts, mugs and to make movies and video games out of until that well runs dry.

So far look at this years SUPERHERO SUMMER, most of the films have either under-preformed or really fallen flat.  Because studios took that genre and ran it dry until they were stuck with making films on second stringer characters. They are second stringers for a reason, Jonah Hex was last summer's big flop, this year Green Lantern was underwhelming, but the studio has green lit a sequel. Because they are desperate for another thing they can build a franchise on since Harry Potter is ending.

Marvel is now owned by Disney. Look at the property that built them Mickey Mouse, do they still make Mickey cartoons, NO except for the CGI preschooler abomination. Mickey is not just a logo for merch and a suit for college students to sweat in and stink up working at their theme parks.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Things little league(oy any youth sports) recuriters will not tell you.

1. You will pay far out the rear for this.

Especially if it is hockey or competitive cheerleading. Penn and Teller. did an eye opening season 9 ep of Bullshit on cheerleading. They had a divorced couple who were paying 10-15k a year for their 3 daughters. Hockey is expensive, you you kid as a interest in sports PRAY that it is B-ball, all that requires is a ball and a pair of shoes. You are not paying for skating lessons, ice time, pricey equipment that they will grow out of every year, entrance fees, fees for tournaments etc. Be weary of any league or martial arts school that is not upfront about what you will pay.

2. 80% will quit before 12 (much of this has to do with 1.)

Kids are fickle, they lose interest in things quickly. It is actually a natural part of the growing process. Adults have also done a great job doing things that will help it along with psychoitic behavior. Much also has to do with the costs. In this economy,  it is not cheaper to fun a kid's world of warcraft addiction and the medical costs in becomes a obese junkfood shut-in than participate in some of these organized sports. That is FUBAR.

High costs are defeating the point of this, Cheap way to have fun with friends.

This is why you have to do this on the cheap, that money is better off being put into bonds or an investment account to pay for school if and when they never get that scholarship or NBA contract. There are 40 million kids in sports and only about 250,000 scholarships. Most of them are at schools you never heard of with sports no one really gives a crap about.

3. There is no law federal, state or otherwise saying we have to do criminal background checks on volunteers.

We always hear some news story about a molester coach or one who is abusive. Molesters will take on jobs that not only get them access to kids but automatically make parents unquestionably trust them. A sports coach is one of those jobs.

If a kid is totally interested in something for 3 years than starts to hate it, RED FLAG.
If a coach or instructor has a problem with you watching practices, RED FLAG.

Thia is juat some simple advice from a single adult with no kids.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Demi Lovato, arm chair career advice.

Here is some open advice I have for Demi Lovato after leaving her TV show to concentrate on her personal health.

Movies - Go Indie do not ask for much.
She is going to deal with producers who hear about her issues and will think she is a liability and another Lindsay Lohan. In some ways she is starting over since leaving her show. So she needs to prove to execs that she can do the job, will be there sober, sane and on time. Don't ask for too much, Demi Miley and Selena being popular as they are, THEY ARE NOT SUPER MOVIE STARS, yet. Ramona and Beezus had a respectable BO but was not a blockbuster. Demi was pretty good in her Grey's Anatomy guest role. So do not ask some producer you want 50 mil up front. Not gonna happen. SHE NEEDS TO PROVE that she can still do the job.

For 2 years Demi was struggling with these eating disorders, teen issues and cutting. Was still able to do 3 tv movies, 2 albums, a tour and TV show. She did not totally meltdown like Charlie Sheen, Lohan. Or Mischa Barton who was not even capable of making her own instant coffee in the last TV show she worked for.

Do indies, some lower budget drama, could even deal with themes she is stuggling with. Indie does not mean something dark and depressing it could be an inspiring and positive film to send a message to teens who are struggling with the same issues. Maybe she can do a movie based on the Cupcake Brown book she mentioned on her Seventeen Blog or something similar. A film that is a lower budget, that is not glossed over with SFX will also show the industry her TALENTS.

Music - Going on Tour

Her meltdown that led to her seeking treatment happened on tour. Concert Tours are a lot like my unit going on deployment. (Except for the people trying to kill you thing, which is not far from the truth with some past music acts.) You are far from home, on a very stressful and hectic schedule that causes you to get little rest, sleep let alone proper nutrition.

You are on the road in a tour bus, up at 5 am to go to 3 radio stations, an two tv morning shows to promote your tour. Rehearsals until the evening show, encore than a after party, get on the bus take a nap and start over in the next city.  Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Recently promoting Monte Carlo led to Selena Gomez getting hospitalized for malnutrition. A millionaire star was not eating enough because things got hectic, with Demi and her eating disorders, she needs family with her to make sure she is properly fueling her body with proper food. In many ways not much different with us soldiers over seas. To properly accomplish our missions we need to make sure we are eating 3 meals a day and DRINK WATER.

Demi mentioned that she feels uneasy being in front of a TV camera, here is another career path. VOICE OVER WORK. She has a real distinctive voice for a Disney Cartoon, this is something like Ashley Tisdale with Phineas and Ferb, that she can do in the same studio she records her music in.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Do we even want or NEED our MTV anymore?

 I wrote this as a response to this post....

I don't know if it is because I have gotten older but I do not even FIND MTV even watchable or even having a purpose on TV anymore.

I am 35 and  find there is better TV on NICK and DISNEY.

MTV's edgy show SKINS got cancelled, you see MTV is pretty much trying to be edgy to teens while gasping for air in a much thinner cultural atmosphere.

Here are some bullet points, about MTV's current problems.

Bullet Point 1. It's not about teens anymore it about TWEENS. Disney has hit this nerve with High School Musical, Hannah Montana and the Jo Bros. We say this a few years ago when Russel Brand was going on about purity rings when he was hosting a show about music awards on Music Television where all the big music acts came from DISNEY. MTV's parent company Viacom also owns Nickelodeon so they do have a share of this market, while the parent company does. MTV as a whole does not they are just a cog in a larger media strategy.

Bullet Point 2. Teens do not need MTV anymore when it comes to music videos.  I remember when MTV was young in the 80's. If you wanted to see a new video you had to wait for the WORLD PREMIER on MTV. Now the hot acts of our decade premier their videos on YOUTUBE, Myspace, VEVO or whatever. Then you can watch it over and over until your eyes bleed. Not wait for hours for MTV to decide to play your fav video.

MTV is basically entered an era where they are both irrelevant and useless. Probably why they are getting Mike Judge to bring back Beavis and Butthead and took music your of their logo. Disney captured lghtng n a bottle with Miley, Selena, Demi and the Jonas Bros. All what MTV has is the Situtation and Snooki. A network that once set trends is now following them with their new TEEN WOLF series.

Monday, April 11, 2011

It WAR: Studios vs Distributors.

There is a war going on in this industry, it is one waged by the Studios and the Theatres. Studios are now offering a window with DirecTV to show first run films 60 days day after their release. You can tell that the theatre chains are not happy. See ticket sales are down, and they were forced to pay million to upgrade their theatres to show 3D films and have to raise ticket prices to pay off the difference.

Sutdios make the most of the films money in the opening weekend, the theater gets the difference called the House Nut. As the weekends go by the House Nut gets bigger for the Theater. So a film that has legs will make more money for the distributor in the long run. This deal with DirecTV will cut into that, a business that is already under assault from declining ticket sales and piracy.

You see this should be a symbiotic relationship, Studios make films, but need a place to show them. Theatres show movies but need someone to make them. You wold think there would be a form of mutual understanding, No this is an industry that prefers backstabbing and one upmanship even if it hurts the industry in the long run.

Regal Cinemas has sent  notice to Sony, WB, FOX and Universal that it will reduce the run time for any film
they show in their movie houses, this is just in time for Summer Movie Season, which will be a crowded one at that.

Some distributors are getting fed up and taking matters into their own hands. Since the Studios, are producing less and what they are making is not that GOOD, Netflix is now in the game making original content.

Dropping ticket sales are also due to other factors, one going to a theater today is a hassle. Why pay 60 per person (3D Ticket+concessions) to see a 90-120 minute movie when you cam plop down the same money for Call of Duty Black Ops and get several months of entertainment out of it.

No only that you have to deal with less than enthusiastic staff, who consist of underpaid and overworked HS age staff. Since the theater is losing money they are cutting staff during busy times to maximize profits just to get by.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Parenting Advice from a Single male with no kids.

I have no kids, but I came to a realization if I had any I would not enroll them in cheer-leading or any of these extracurricular shizz.

Why because it COSTS too much dang frakking money.

I am a big fan of Penn and Tellers show Bullshit, The First Episode of Season 8, was about Cheerleading and it was an EYEOPENER.

In the Cheer-leading ep, P&T mention that two divorced parents were paying $10,000 on their two daughters. That is $5000 each. Lets put this in perspective I owe about $25,000 in student loans. Now each year these parents pay enough to knock off $10,000 of that. They could have paid it off in 2.5 years.

It isn't just cheerleading, I am seeing too many youth athletic activities that care more about fleecing every dollar they can get out of parents. Why because of burn-out rates. 80% of the kids whose parents enroll them in soccer, hockey etc. Will burn out and quit by 12. that is about 6 years. It means that those parents in 6 years will have paid $60,000 to Varsity Brands Inc. Some of that burn-out has to do with CASH.

Some parent will probably g on about college and scholarships and stuff, all I have to say is this.
Better way to pay for your kids future, take that 10k. Or whatever you will spend on that and  spend it all one savings bonds, or a stable investment account and let it mature for 6 years. Do it every year with the money you would blow on that BS for 6 years. You will have enough to send maybe 1 kid to Yale or 3 to a state school.  If you did not go to Yale, you kid is not going to Yale, If you went to Yale you probably make enough a year where Money is not much of a problem.

Better than blowing it one some gamble that they might get some sports scholarship. Trust me chances are slim.

In this episode of Bullshit they mention safety on how to become a Varsity Approved Coach all you need to do is sit through a class on a Sunday Morning and take a 3 hour open book test. None of it really covers first aid procedures. REALLY.

Another reason to stay away is safety, if kids want to play sports they are better off trying out for a team at their school, not some off school league made of volunteers. Why, background checks, With a scholasitic team the coaching staff is part of the faculty, to get that job they need to have certain credentials. Not only that they have to submit to a criminal background check. With some strip mall dojo or local community soccer league there is no City, Country, State or Federal law mandating these organizations have to do a background check on their volunteer staff. These volunteer orgs also do not mandate the staff have ANY FIRST AID training. Sports, people get hurt playing it, PROS who get paid millions get hurt, you can expect that that team has a army of medical practitioners on call to deal with any injury. Not saying that some city soccer league should have a medical staff, but the coaches and parents should know what to do if a kid gets injured and should be able to properly respond.

If you are doing this so Junior can get exercise, all kids need is 60 minutes a DAY, not $15,000 a year in some  league that will put you into debt because you want to show off to Jimmy's Mom.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Red Dawn, Desperation at teh Homefront,0,995726.story?goback=.gmp_1657547.gde_1657547_member_47363684

This LA times story states that the studio for Red Dawn changed the enemy China to North Korea to not offend the Chinese. Why would it matter? Because they know this film will under-perform and that need that international BO of China. If they execs knew that this film will make hundreds of millions on its opening weekend in the USA. The studio would not care about how China felt, but this move also has another reason. Recently there was a release of a Video game called Homefront. Now this game is about a future USA in 2027 that is invaded by a resurgent NK, the game goes into detail to explain this. The game was also written by John Milius the writer of Red Dawn.

So some exec saw the commercials for the game mentioning John Milius and thought, we need Chinese movie goers, and if we connect this movie with this game we can get their butts in seats as well.

All they are trying to do is Lessen the Blow for a film that will be released in a already crowded blockbuster movie season. The figure this game might also create some brand awareness for their film as well.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Armchair Producer #1 Batman and Superman

We have the 3rd Christopher Nolan Batman Film and the 1st Nolan supervised Superman film. As for batman I personally if I was a producer. Here is how I would plan things. After the 3rd film wraps things up plan for a new trilogy, if Nolan wants to work in it great, if not find someone would will give the directors chair to another director who can give the same gritty dark tone. Since the last trilogy was about the beginnings of the Caped Crusader, this trilogy should be about the origin of the Boy Wonder, Dick Grayson. The death of this family and Bruce Wayne adopting him and teaching him to fight crime. This 2nd trilogy could also introduce other villains such as The Penguin, Riddler and even since it will be a few years after Dark Knight, bring back the Joker.

As for Superman, this is going to be a young Superman at the start of his career at the Daily Planet, so first of all you do not need t show the destruction of krypton and his growing up in Smallville. Because everyone on earth knows the origin story of Superman, as as well as the story of Jesus Christ. We also had 10 season of that on the WB/CW.

Villans lay off on the Lex Luthor, we had 4 films with Lex and 1 with a knock-off imitation of him. He should be in this new film but as a small supporting background villian, maybe have in short scenes mentioning LEXCORP, and have him at the end in a scene showing how He was manipulating events from the comforts of his penthouse office. The villains should be something big, Brainiac, Darksied, something big and powerful that Supes and punch.

Maybe then work toward a Batman/Superman film.

That is how I would do things.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Bargin Bin Movie Review #2: Super Mario Bros

Super Mario Bros - It is a good rule when you make a film based on a some intellectual property to have the development rights to, it is a good idea to research the subject matter. Like I don't know like PLAYING THE FREAKING GAME. With all the VG and movie cross tie-ins I am surprised they did not make a Game based on the Movie like they did with Street Fighter. You can tell this film was written by a committee that consisted of a 12 year old boy, The Writers , A studio exec, both directors , the building's cleaning person Consuela, the exec's mistress and a gay prostitute they picked up from a West Hollywood leather bar.

Notice how I mentioned both directors in that circus of the absurd. Sure some films have multiple writers, it is not unusual, this mess had three, but TWO DIRECTORS. Now you know as a viewer you are about to see celluloid diarrhea that will bring harm to your immortal soul, when a movie needs TWO DIRECTORS to finish it. This is the only film I know of that had TWO DIRECTORS listed that was not some film made of up compilation stories, like the Amazing Stories or Twilight Zone movie. Those  movies are anthology of several smaller separate stories, and will have directors and writers for each separate vignette.

But this is ONE SINGLE FILM, with one SINGLE story. It turns out this was a husband and wife directorial team, I wonder of their marriage was able to survive this cinematic mess.

Despite all these extra writers and directors they still give us biggest glaring moment of idiocy, the title Is Super Mario BROTHERS but the film states they are FATHER and SON How could anyone make such a mistake, It is in the title SUPER MARIO B-R-O-T-H-E-R-S, Not Super Mario and Son. Their blood relation is described in the FREAKING TITLE.

Jesus freaking Lopez, How in Lord Xenu's name could you even get that wrong. Even Double Dragon did a better job at portraying the subject matter accurately. At least they got two brothers who use kung fu on people. Not like that game had much of a plot as the DD plot changed with each game, they did keep the post nuclear war storyline vaguely mentioned in the manual for one of the console port overs. That is a film that I will cover later, when I totally lose my mind and decide to watch that piece of trash again.

For those who never played an SMB game, the premise is this Mario and Luigi are two plumbers who take a pipe to the magical Mushroom Kingdom, to Rescue Princess Peach from the evil Lord King Koopa.

The films premise is about two NYC plumbers (at least they got that right), who discover a portal to an alternate blade runner rip-off world where the Dinos never died out and this dystopian city is ruled by some gangster/general wannabe called Koopa. basically they find the set of Theodore Rex. There is no princess but just Luigi's girlfriend who is some archaeologist or something. Koopa wants this piece of the original KT asteroid to create some substance to restore the dinosaurs. Koopa captures her and the Mario father and son, go an save her and whatever.

I am just glad they never made a CONTRA movie, I really cannot think how someone would have made a charlie foxtrot out of that.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Movies that need the rifftrax treatment.

 I have been exploring the Rifftrax site I noticed that there are some films that yet do not have riffs.

Dungeons and Dragons - before Eragon, Jeremy Irons was in another really bad fantasy film. This one makes Eragon look like LOTR.

Wing Commander - This Das Boot in space, just made us more eager for Star Wars Episode I to come out, then Episode I came out and we sci-fans clamoring for space opera realized there is NO NEW HOPE.

Zoom: Academy for Superheroes - It's like Sky High just much more worse. That in itself is an accomplishment.

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park - There must be video on demand of this, especially if it is a copy with commercials just like the SWHC. Paul Stanley on a VH1 special said this was billed as "A Hard Days Night Meets Star Wars, it was anything but". Phantom is  more like The Sgt Peppers Lonely hearts club bands meets the Star Wars Holiday Special and then decide to visit an abandoned amusement park and do nothing but drink Thunderbird and Mad Dog 20/20.

Speaking of more quick cash-ins:

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie - A film based on those gross cabbage patch kids sticker parodies. That I blew way too many quarters on. After seeing the nostalgia critic review of this turd, I say this is a film that I wish did not exist. Yet I knew kids in school that loved this film. Most of them are either in jail or dead now.

The Wizard - This movie has Fred Savage, yet to be known for The Wonder Years  plays a supporting role to a mental case, a girl and the headlining star NINTENDO! The Power Glove is so rad, and the only reason to watch this film was to get a glimpse of the hot new Super Mario Bros 3. yet Jimmy and his friends somehow know where secrets are in this yet known unreleased game.

Speaking of those plumbers...

Super Mario Bros - It is a good rule when you make a film based on a some intellectual property to have the development rights to, it is a good idea to research the subject matter. You should do things like... don't know PLAY THE FREAKING GAME. With all the VG and movie cross tie-ins I am surprised they did not make a Game based on the Movie like they did with Street Fighter. You can tell this film was written by a committee that consisted of a 12 year old boy, A studio exec, the director , the building's cleaning person Consuela, the exec's mistress and a gay prostitute they picked up from a West Hollywood leather bar.

This is the only film I know of that had TWO DIRECTORS listed that was not some film made of up compilation stories, like the Amazing Stories or Twilight Zone movie. This is ONE FREAKING MOVIE. Biggest glaring moment of idiocy, the title Is Super Mario BROTHERS
but the film states they are FATHER and SON

How could anyone make such a mistake, It is in the title SUPER MARIO BROTHERS, Not Super Mario and Son.

Hannah Montana the Movie -  Why not? now you can throw in Miley Bong Jokes.

Waterworld - Please tell me why they have not riffed this epic disaster? What is your excuse, rifftrax? what is Kevin Costner's excuse for making  He sure did not learn his lesson as he gave us The Postman.  Untouchables is the last film he made that does not make me want to THROW UP.

Film that might be hard to get a copy of:

Inchon (1982) This Korean War film produced by the Unification Church was plagued with controversy and problems, the 46 million dollar film only made 2 million and was plagued, by bad acting, bad writing with such factual errors as news-reporters wearing 1970's era clothing. This film was so bad that The Washington times and paper owned by Rev. Moon even trashed this film. When your own bought and paid for media mouthpiece will not praise this film, you really  failed. Money wise this film was a bigger waste of cash than Heaven's Gate, unlike HG this film is so bad that it was never released on VHS, BETAMAX, LASERDISC, DVD, flipbooks, or any known format. Only bootlegs exist taped from the Unification Church's television station when they decide to show this travesty.

Speaking of religious motivated films.....

Omega Code and its Sequel, Left Behind films etc. - I am  not a man of faith by any stretch, I do firmly believe in respecting another persons religious beliefs  but these films are so bad that well they need to be shredded. As for Omega Code even one of the guys on TBN ripped into this film. If we get anymore bad christian films, I will not be surprised God himself comes down to Earth with a lawyer, to sue the people responsible over the misuse of intellectual property, copyright infringement, breach of contract or something. You know The Almighty could have a rock solid case here, He could have a problem getting a lawyer as most if not all are probably in Hell.

Films that must just be hard to riff due to tragic events,

Galaxina - A really bad and cheap exploitative sci-fi sex comedy starring Playmate Dorothy Stratten, might be unriffable as Dorothy was murdered by her psycho ex-husband shortly before the films release.

The Conqueror (1956) This is the horribly miscast film produced by Howard Hughes that has John Wayne Playing Ghengis Khan. Also like Galaxina might be pretty hard to riff as this film is wrapped in tragedy. Considering that Howard had the film shot downwind from above ground nuke testing and it gave many who worked on the film CANCER. WARNING: You also might get cancer from actually watching it.

Films still in Pre-Production that will have to be Shredded.

The Family Circus - Just as the stench of the dog turd that was the Marmaduke, still has not left the theatres
someone thought it was a good idea to green light another comic strip. This time with one that only became funny on the Dysfuctional Family Circus website, Riffs should include guest riffer Bil's special friend "Uncle" Roy Washington and the Psychic Fern with mentions of trippin a nutsak in a frenzy of dikplay, Log of fags, and pennants and dish the dirt that Sperm Burping Gutter Slut, Thel. Check the DFC Archive.

Gypsy Remake with Babs Streisand - Why not.

Bargin Bin Movie Review: Iron Eagle

Iron Eagle, I saw this film as a kid and I thought WOW COOL. Since I am older and know better I look back this is the biggest and worst Top Gun cash-in ever. The entire plot is pretty filled with implausible crap. Some USAF Colonel gets shot down and taken prisoner,  his 17 year-old son who just graduated High School, who is somehow allowed to fly F-16's, and log time in simulators like it is the local arcade. He is frustrated with the government's apparent lack of action goes on a insane mission to some Mideast country where He and Lou Gossett Jr single handedly wipe out this nation's Air Power, land and pick up his dad and fly home, dog fight the Head of State of this country and blow his ass out of the sky, by doing things that are techinically impossible with a F-16 Falcon.

Seriously if a kid and a instructor could take on this entire country's military you think they Pentagon would already be planning a Spec Ops mission led by Chuck Norris to get him out or at least the State Dept would be negotiating for his release.

What is his reward, for stealing two F-16s and causing an international incident they ship his ass off to the USAF Academy. Not a hard labor military prison where Rambo ended up after his shooting spree in First Blood. (Although he died in the book)

This film is more Last Starfighter than Top Gun, except Last Starfighter had the sci-fi stuff making it more believable.

Here is a list of some of the implausible shizz in this movie:
  • F-16 are flown by officers, who get their commission by either ROTC, USAFA, or OCS no HS grad with a mediocre academic standing is going to be allowed to touch them, not even if their daddy is one of the joint chiefs. Even before officers even sit in simulators, they take hours of classes on how to prevent G-LOC, Air Combat Manuvers and basic fundamentals of flight.
  • Fighters are expensive, they  require fuel, ammunition and constant maintenance, so pilots train hundreds of hours on Sims. Also Simulator time is also at a premium, so they are not going let the Full Bird's son use the Simulator room like it is his personal arcade.
  • The Weapon hard-points on a F-16 are aimed slightly downward, that missile Doug fired on the tarmac of the Evil Mideast Nation(TM) would have slammed into the pavement exploding and taking out Doug and his Pappy.
  • If two F-16 were capable of doing that to this nation A delta force team led by Chuck Norris could have easily wiped this country's ass in a matter of minutes. The State Dept would have gotten him released by telling the Evil Leader(TM) , "You release Col. Masters or we send Chuck Norris to kick your ass."  He would be on a 1st Class Flight back the Ramstien AFB by the next morning.
Despite this the film did well enough in the box office to spawn two sequels. 2nd being a little more plausible about An American and Soviet team joining forces to take out another unnamed evil Mideast regime. Which starts with Doug Masters getting blown out of the sky, looks like the USAF put a stop to him taking his walkman with 80's ass rock up with him.

3rd Well I never even bothered to watch that one.


Saturday, January 1, 2011

Simple Math, workers and the economy and education.

Unions and Politicians always lament the loss of manufacturing jobs and blame those evil corporations and the Republicans and whatnot. The main reason is not Reagan, Bush, Unions or even Obama but they all had a part to play. The main reason for jobs going over seas is simple math.

Reason why the USA had such a thriving industrial sector for 30 years was this little event called World War II. You might have heard about it, I think some movies and a few video games were about about it. Well that war pretty much devastated America's biggest industrial competition. Germany was carpet bombed into rubble and Japan had two cities wiped off the map courtesy of the Atomic Age. With the eastern half of Europe under the iron curtain. Well that left the USA  sole nation that could rebuild the western world. Well with this vibrant industrial sector it also help industrial labor unions thrive, they also became successful sometimes too much success can ruin you. It led to higher wages for low skilled work and a population that thought why care about school when I can slide through kicking a ball around and get a good UAW job.

This also led to entire communities thinking "Why care about school when I can slide through get a good UAW job at the auto plant. Well guess what just like Joesph and the parable of the 7 fed cows and the 7 lean ones, good times were not going to last. Their success became their undoing, as wages went up so did prosperity. Also cost of living  and the cost of labor. Soon enough Germany, Japan and other nations we getting back to full speed. Offering an industrial sector with less regulation and less cost due to lower exchange rates and a better education system to match. Companies here in the USA thought why should I pay 20 and hour to some barely literate high school graduate or a drop out when I can ship this factory to China and get workers that only pay $1.00 an hour, work longer hours and are better educated.

Simple math same reason why I buy Generic medicine over name brands, same quality for less money. In labor case better quality for less money.

Now that mentality born of that age has screwed us, Japan became a tech powerhouse because the focused on education because well they do not a have the space or local resources to support a large industrial base.

Now we are in the information age, and the age of the internet, you want a job that made as much as hose UAW line workers, well you need to learn how to use a computer and read those books in school. The 21st Century the future came by well we do know know what to do with it. We have labor unions wanting Washington DC to turn things back to the 1950's, with trade legislation. Guess what NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. We have a public education system still teaching kids the skills to work in a industrial labor based economy. That age us over, kids need to be learning technology at day one to compete with kids in China and Japan. Go to these countries do they have soccer moms and hockey moms? No. They have STUDY MOMS because for them success is not measured on getting their kid on some exclusive Hockey league to get some college scholarship it is getting into the best exclusive HIGH SCHOOL to become an engineer to scientist.

KIDS NEED TO PUT THE BALL DOWN AND PICK UP A TEXT BOOK. Every time I say this to anyone they give me this look like I am talking in some alien language and have a third eye coming out of my head.

"I don't want them sitting in from of a computer all day"

My response to this is, "Now do you want your kid spending the rest of their life standing in from of a McDonald's cash register for the rest of his life?"

Do you know that the chance even of a kid is good, getting a full ride college athletic scholarship? About less that 5 percent.

Do you know what the chance of a kid has good academic standings of getting into a good school let alone any college. About 100%

What do you think is the better path?